Real Mature

Sorry guys, but I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

Always Be Closing

Earlier this week, my boss had mentioned that he had some self-help cassette tapes on closing deals. He suggested I listened to them. Since no one ever lives up to their word, I just cheerfully played along.
Yesterday, he showed up with the tapes in hand. "I didn't forget!" he said happily. I asked my other coworkers if they ever had to listen to the tapes. They didn't. I think that means that I'm the worst sales person the store has never fired...yet.
So now I have to listen to these tapes. They have titles like "Emotional Logic in Closing" and "Positive Projection For More Sales" (not pictured). And not only that, there are literally a dozen tapes I have to listen to. Now if only I had a working Walkman in the house.

Enthusiasm!

Bonus, in case you've never seen this:

Pretty Ricky? Pretty WTF is more like it.

I came across this video this morning, via the Gunsmoke Mafia, linked from Matt's blogger. There was a disclaimer about the video, warning that it had some disturbing images. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, I clicked it. It was a little much to take at 8 in the morning.

Easy mode: Make it past exactly 0:57 of the video without laughing.

Medium mode: Make it past 1:00 without laughing.

Hard mode: Make it past 1:18 without laughing.

Nightmare mode: Watch the whole thing without laughing

I didn't make it past medium mode.



Bonus: Remember these guys?

Anaface

I came across Anaface the other day. Based on the geometry of your face, it decides how hot you are, on a scale of one to ten. So apparently, I'm only a 6.18. I'm not sure if I should be bummed that I didn't even make it as a 7 or happy that it's not any worse.

Sunday morning

Mom: So where did you go last night?
Me: Out.
Mom: Out where?
Me: The bar.
Mom: Any girls at the bar?
Me: No.
Mom: None at all?
Me: Nope.
Mom: What are you doing, going to places with no girls? You should be going out and picking up girls!
Me: Thanks, mom.

Obviously, she hasn't ever been to Ballroom. Even if there were girls there (other than the servers), I don't think I'd want to go near any of them.

McCombs for President

I really like this song.

Friends who bang

Maybe I shouldn't be posting this, but it's not like DJF is gonna talk to Audrey or Kevin any time soon anyway. God bless Toronto Gossip. Enjoy!

Michelle Lies

Things we/I love about Michelle:
-the craftiest person I know
-her room is like this museum of cool and/or cute things
-have you seen her play the hula-hoop game on Wii-fit? Adurrable!
-Charlyne Yi reminds us of her, not the other way around
-her biscuits rival Owen's biscuits. AUDREY ATE LIKE SEVEN OF THEM.
-she can say offensive things, but it will always end up sounding cute
-her love of animal masks
-when you say something like "OMG don't look...", she'll look
-her awesome dancing

Happy birthday, Michelle!

Also, last night:


Note: the giraffe picture is not supposed to look like that. It uploaded wrong I guess, but I'm leaving it like that because it looks fucking awesome.

Summer is ready when you are

Things to do this summer:
-picnic
-beach
-30 second video part for the next Souse video
-save at least $6000
-Beirut @ the Phoenix
-way more photos
-250 fittings at work
-a nice dinner out with all my friends
-"Smiths tattoos! Summer 2009!"
-maybe try and get a bike, once I figure out when the hell I'm ever going to use one

I'm sure there's more, I just can't remember them right now.


Mmmm. The Deal sisters.

A Sunday Smile

Last night, I drank a bit too much, didn't eat enough food, stayed out way too late, got very little sleep, and smoked too many cigarettes. But despite all that, today was one of the best Sundays I've had in years.

Whoops

I'm embarrassed to say that while I was in school, I didn't really pay attention to half the people in my program. I'd see some people in the second semester and think "Were they always in my program? Because I don't recognize them" when it turns out, yes, they were and that they sat in the same classrooms as me most days of the week. I just never noticed.
So it turns out my work hired one of my classmates as a salesperson. Of course, I didn't know this because like I said, I didn't really pay attention to who my classmates were. In fact, I probably still wouldn't know if I hadn't mentioned it in passing to the Twins.
"Ani? The same Ani in our program?"
"I dunno"
I had to Facebook her just to check. And it is the same girl. Which makes it all the more embarrassing for me, because I'm sure she isn't as clueless as I am and probably recognized me from class. I've been working with her the past 2 days and I haven't once given any indication that I recognize her or even know who she is. Whoops.

My mind's such a sweet thing

Ironically, they've been playing 'Crimson And Clover' over and over in the mall I work at. I hope they don't overdo it, because I'd hate to get sick of that song.

In other news, I enjoy taking half a roll of film, forgetting about it, then picking up the camera months later and wondering "WTF is on this roll?" then finding out. Hurray for a bad memory.


May took this one. One of my favorites; Sulty needs to smile like this more often.

Chill spot

I had made a vow a few weeks earlier to start taking photos again. I finally started today. I'm pretty rusty at it but I still had fun and that's all that matters. The past 24 hours have been fun; there'd have been a lot more photos of some of the stuff I did, but it's better I didn't document them.

Jackie Richardson FTW

Today, I sold a pair of sunglasses to Jackie Richardson:

At this point, you're thinking 'Who the hell is Jackie Richardson?'. Let me tell you who Jackie Richardson is...I have no idea. Apparently, she's really good at singing. And she popped up on Google easily enough, so I guess she's famous.
What's my point? Jackie Richardson is incredibly nice, or to me anyway. So thanks, Jackie Richardson, for making my Sunday a little less shitty.

On another note, I woke up today, went to work, came home, took a nap, and dreamt...of work. I can't begin to tell you how much that depresses me.

What now

During the interview for my current job, my boss Roy asked me if I wore glasses myself. I replied that I did, but that I wasn't wearing them currently.
"So you're wearing contacts right now?"
"Uh, no. I have them here, they're just not exactly very fashionable"
"Oh, well, let's see them!"
"I'm warning you, they're ugly"
"I've seen them all. They can't be that bad"
So I took them out and showed him.
"Oh wow. Yeah, you can't wear these when you're working here"
He found them so ugly that when he introduced me to the store's optician, he made me pull them out again to show her as well, just so she could tell me how ugly they were.
And in case you need a refresher, they look like this:


Today, the Ray Ban sales rep came in to see what frames we wanted to buy. She brought out several trays of frames to show us what was available. Guess which frames we ordered?


Yeah, what now, bitches?

Music

May asked me what I've been listening to lately. I named like one or two bands, because for the most part, I usually listen to the same old stuff.

So here are some songs I've been listening to, either new or stuff that has been on heavy rotation for the past few weeks/months.

Deerhunter - Spring Hall Convert

Cass McCombs - She's Still Suffering

The Horrors - Do You Remember?

Modeselektor - The White Flash (ft. Thom Yorke)

Theoretical Girl - Rivals

Morrissey - Speedway

Fucked Up - Son The Father

M83 - Kim & Jessie

The M83 song sounds like it could belong in a John Hughes movie. The entire album does, which is apparently what they were going for.

I'm on a gloat, motherfucker

I spent even less time and effort this semester than I did during the fall semester. I didn't study for finals, I started doodling on my notes during class and I spent more time talking to the Twins than I did paying attention.
The lesson here is that you don't have to try in college.

In other news, I met the middle aged version of myself and it turns out he's my boss. In fact, he might even worse than me. He's a total scatterbrain, really bad at dealing with stress and he tends to talk aloud to himself in front of people. I don't do the latter in front of people, but you get the picture. I guess as far as things go, he's doesn't seem like a bad future version of me. I could do worse in the future. At least I didn't meet my future self in a crackhead or anything.
Oh, and he's got incredibly dry skin. I got that too.

Rock, me, and the hard place, respectively

I found out yesterday when I was doing the payroll that the store hired and promptly fired a handful of salespeople earlier in April. I had met a few of them and had wondered why I never met them again. Turns out they couldn't cut it. Some of them only worked as much as 2 days before being let go.

Which is where things start to get a bit ironic. I know the only reason I'm still around is because they're keeping me around as the bookkeeper. I haven't sold a single thing this whole month, so I know if it weren't for my bookkeeping skills (or what little of it I have), I'd be gone. But I took up opticianry in order to get away from bookkeeping. Oh well.

Speaking of selling stuff, I had a customer snap on me for the first time today for being too pushy. It was funny in the sense that it'd be funny if it didn't happen to you; I hate pushy sales people and now I've become one. Not that I was willingly being pushy. A couple walked in and I asked if they needed help. They said no, they were just browsing. So I walked off. My boss, who was watching the whole time, pushed me back twice to keep trying. By the second time, the man snapped on me in the middle of store.
So I guess that's what being stuck between a rock and a hard place is like. I get the feeling I'll be stuck there more often this summer. Can't wait.