Facebook burn

My mom officially got a Facebook account. She didn't even add me first as a friend. She added my cousin. In fact, she hasn't even approved my request to be her friend. WTF MOM.

2 cups of wine throughout 5 hours

This Christmas break has been the most eventful one so far.
This Christmas break has also been the one where my alcohol tolerance is the lowest.

Proof:


Could this level of idiocy have been easily achieved without alcohol?
Okay, yes. BUT STILL!

On the bright side, the mustache has proven to be really popular with the ladies.
Well, maybe not with Britt. She doesn't look all that enthusiastic about it.

Pretty girls

Today, my parents wanted to know how it is I managed to befriend so many incredibly good looking females (their words, I swear). For some reason, the possibility that I'm fucking awesome never occurred to them.

Mystery box

While looking through photo albums yesterday for a picture of my 13 year old self, I came across a box. It's used to store photos, so I looked through it. It was filled with a really random mix of photos; some that I took, some that are really old and some that are really, really old. I was bored all day today, so I thought I'd scan some and post them here.

The front of the box has space for you to slide a photo in as the cover. This was the photo someone inserted. I'm almost certain Mark took this, since it's in his room.

Mommy and I.

High school. I honestly can't remember if this is mine or JP's. I know he took it and that he used it on one of his assignments, but I think I may have made him do it again when I took photography.

I took this with my pinhole camera. You can tell I totally knew what I was doing.

My dad was actually cooler than me when he was my age. He had a job, long hair and a Barracuda. He also boasts that he banged a few white girls before he met my mom.

A really hasty portrait that I took of my grandmother.

My mom, circa 1972 (according to the date she wrote on the back). I'm guessing my dad's somewhere banging white girls.

Again with the mustache

Mom: You know, you don't look any better with a mustache, right?
Me: I can't cut it off now! It's only been two weeks! This is the longest I've ever let it grow for! I can't let all that effort go to waste!
Mom: Okay, well, I've seen it now. So it's not a waste of effort. Now you can shave it off.
Me: I didn't grow it out for you, mom. I grew it out for me
Mom: But you look like a pedophile!

Ouch!

Annyong

If you're reading this, you'll be getting a message from me on Facebook soon. I'd love to explain it here, but it's a long explanation (because I'm the kind of person that always gives long-winded explanations) and quite frankly, I'm just too lazy right now.

Because someone requested to see what I looked like as a 13 year old:
Short shorts, my dad's shirt and a mop top. And this is the least embarrassing one I could find.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

I don't think I've ever cursed so much while shoveling as I have today.

Snowmageddon can S my D.

Cardigans and smoke

I smoke way too much these days.

The Undercurrent

Called the Undercurrent because "it just takes you away".
As told to me by Matt, who in turn was told by G5 of Anvil:
-3 shots of gin
-2 shots of vodka
-2 shots of white rum
-1 shot of Malibu rum
-ice
-lemonade

Throw all shots into a pitcher. Throw some ice in there. Fill the remainder of the pitcher up with lemonade. Mix (or in our case, blend). Commence shit talking.

Tidbits

I was in my brother's room a few days ago and found an old New Kids On The Block trading card that I had when I was six, on his desk. He put it in a card protector. Oh Gene.

Danny Wood FTW!

Also, with Matt's consent, I stole a mask from Soundwave. I had to wash it thoroughly. It's not an exaggeration when Matt associates the word "grimy" with Soundwave. Also, "sketchy" and "batshit crazy girlfriends" are equally appropriate words to associate with Soundwave.

You can tell I was bored enough that I'd go put my camera on my tripod instead of just taking a webcam pic.

Stuck in the past much?

So this will be the last time I'll post old photos, because my memory's deteriorated to the point where I can no longer remember what I have posted and what I haven't. And I'm pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel as far as decent photos go.

I don't know if you still want it, Matt, but there's your picture of the mic stand beer can ashtray.

aka Canker Sore Party aka Indigestion Party

Grapefruits taste great. Limes and lemons taste good, but still burn your tongue if you eat them raw. Dark chocolate still tastes like shit. Curly fries taste like straight fries. Cigarettes taste like cigarettes. Beer tastes like beer to pussies like me. Alcohol still gets people drunk, Miracle Fruit or not. Photos still look like photos.



















My tongue is already hating me.