Merry Christmas, mon

One of the things I secretly like is the Christmas music they play in stores/malls during Christmas. I know it annoys a lot of people, especially those who have to work in those stores/malls, since it's non-stop and they usually start playing the music as early as November. I think I just like it because I've sort of lost that whole holiday cheer over the years and hearing it brings back what little Christmas spirit I have left.

Except last week. I heard the worst rendition of Jingle Bells ever. I was killing time at Chapters before work, when it came on. I didn't notice it at first; it just sounded like any other bad version of Jingle Bells. They put a country spin on it. What made me start paying attention to it was the fact that I could have sworn they said something about Rastas, reggae and jerk chicken. I shit you not. I looked up from the magazine I was reading and strained to listen to the words. At the end of the song, the singer talked a bit as the band kept playing. He was talking in a pisstake of a Patois accent. If I could remember what he was saying, I'd write it.
Again, it was a cover of Jingle Bells, played in the style of country music, but with words switched up so it was some Rasta version of the lyrics. The guy still sang with a country twang though. It was as if a bunch of racist hillbillies played it to mock Rastas. I couldn't believe they were playing this at Chapters. I was really tempted to go to the front desk and ask them who that band was, just for curiosity's sake.