I found out last night that I have no chance of a career in stand up comedy. Tough crowd!
About 3 months after I quit my job, my funds have finally reached close to nothing. I really should be looking for another job. Yet, despite not having done anything remotely productive in the past 3 months, I'm enjoying being unemployed. Let's see how long I can stretch whatever's left in my bank account.
I'm pretty convinced the main reason my parents try to get me to go to the cemetery to visit my grandfather every year is because I'm the only one who can find his grave. Surprisingly, this year wasn't as much of a calamity as previous years. I had fun talking to my parents about their arrangements when they die. My dad wants to be cremated and have his ashes spread in the Pacific Ocean, which creates a great excuse to drop whatever I'm doing to take a road trip. He also said he wasn't real picky about the urn, since it'd be useless once his ashes are spread, so I told him I'd put him in a coffee can a la The Big Lebowski. My mom told me to make sure never to put fake plastic flowers on her grave; only real ones. And that if I gave her more prized heirlooms to anyone but my wife or daughters, she'd come to haunt me. So yeah, I guess I'm prepared now.
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