Skate Witches

And I thought SB were tough.

Clean up

My room's been a mess since I've moved back. I spent an hour or two cleaning it up today. I'm still not done though. Some of the shit I found while cleaning:

-Note Totes and other binders from high school, with embarrassing Sharpie doodles and white-out drawings. One binder had "Fuck You" blatantly spray painted on it.
-a dentist appointment card for July 7, 2008. I did not go.
-a photocopy of my own hands from work.
-a plastic cardholder with high school ID from every year except for OAC and a few TTC student passes.
-change. Everywhere.
-a burned copy of "Fuckin' A" by the Thermals, covered in dust.
-a huge pull-out poster from Hit Parader, when I was still into nu-metal.
-calculus textbooks I never really read that I never sold back to the university bookstore after the course was over, due to laziness.

That's it so far.

Just beer

So it turns out I can't drink hard liquor anymore, as evidenced by my inability to swallow it willingly and spitting it all over Mark's kitchen table instead. Sorry Mark.

I think I'll stick with beer from now on.

Death and brokeness

I found out last night that I have no chance of a career in stand up comedy. Tough crowd!

About 3 months after I quit my job, my funds have finally reached close to nothing. I really should be looking for another job. Yet, despite not having done anything remotely productive in the past 3 months, I'm enjoying being unemployed. Let's see how long I can stretch whatever's left in my bank account.

I'm pretty convinced the main reason my parents try to get me to go to the cemetery to visit my grandfather every year is because I'm the only one who can find his grave. Surprisingly, this year wasn't as much of a calamity as previous years. I had fun talking to my parents about their arrangements when they die. My dad wants to be cremated and have his ashes spread in the Pacific Ocean, which creates a great excuse to drop whatever I'm doing to take a road trip. He also said he wasn't real picky about the urn, since it'd be useless once his ashes are spread, so I told him I'd put him in a coffee can a la The Big Lebowski. My mom told me to make sure never to put fake plastic flowers on her grave; only real ones. And that if I gave her more prized heirlooms to anyone but my wife or daughters, she'd come to haunt me. So yeah, I guess I'm prepared now.

Green Room

We celebrated David's birthday last night at Green Room. We got him smashed. I'm pretty sure everyone else at Green Room didn't like us.

Hey Sergio! It's getting kind of hot in here.

The things we/I love above Sergio:
-will tell it like it is when he feels you need to hear it
-always willing to hear about what's going on in your life even if you don't want to talk about it
-hijinx
-always hypes me up to people I don't even know
-up for coffee and smokes any time of the day, which is good if you like coffee and/or smokes
-he laughs like a hyena, but it has the weird ability to make you laugh
-he'll smoke the majority of your pack, but will always give you a pack back
-knows and loves the songs I don't
-always the first to dance
-mustaches that make him look like a pedophile
-the gift of gab, which sometimes gets him into trouble, but usually makes a surprising number of new friends

Happy Birthday, Sergio.

JCVD

I can't stop laughing at this.

Updated

Nothing to say for now.
I updated my muxtape. Do people still use muxtape? Oh well. I still like it.
That's it.

Hey Jay-Pappy!

Things we love about JP:
-the way he says "FUUUUUUUCK" when he's angry or upset, which is rare.
-random spurts of hyperactivity when you least expect it.
-the Wonderbread he carries around with him and the extra cans of Coke he keeps in his car.
-he offers to give you a ride, even if it's out of the way and unlike me, doesn't seem like he's doing it because he's obligated to.
-he only wears really worn in t-shirts and will steal his sister's t-shirts if he has to.
-he always smells good.
-his long fingernails.
-never complains.
-hijinx.
-you can never stay mad at him, for some reason.
-the fact that if he chose to grow out his facial hair, you know it would be epic.

Happy Birthday, JP.

It's cool to love your family

For my grandmother's birthday, my cousins each gave her a card. I instead drank beer with her. Beer I didn't even pay for. I feel like a scumbag.

I enjoy messing up group photos.

Bernie

I can't remember if I wrote about it, but my Macbook (which I named Bernie, because it's black and it's a Mac) died on me. Two weeks ago. I've been so busy doing nothing that I only had a chance to do it today.
I like how the Apple guy did nothing to fix whatever was wrong.
"Yeah, it's your hard drive"
"Well, what exactly is wrong with it?"
"I dunno. Are you okay with losing all your data? We'll just give you a new hard drive"
While their tactics ensure I get my Macbook back quicker (I pick it up tomorrow morning), it seems rather lazy to me. For their laziness, I lose a shitload of music I spent a lot of hours downloading illegally and an equal shitload of pictures of my friends acting goofy. Fuck.

Speaking of stuff I lost, I never officially posted this. The editing is shoddy, we sound like idiots and the stuff we talk about isn't interesting, but there are some golden moments.

Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!

Matt and I hung out with Sian today. Aside from the heat, it was a pretty fun time. Thanks for hanging out with us, Sian.

You're adding velocity

Bill Nye the Morrissey fan?



Also:



The deep voice was the thing I remember most from the show.

Kensington

Retrospect

Music videos that either scarred me or just couldn't get out of my mind as a kid:









I feel silly for having been scared of Boy George.

Karaoke

Last night was fun. I got to prove to a whole new set of people that I can't sing. Puberty was a bitch.