Memorable Quotes:
"You have rapist handwriting"
-Chris, my coworker.

I argued that I only have molester handwriting.

MMX

I really like this blog and maybe one day I'll come back, but for now, I'm here.

Cut and paste

The conversation during dinner was pretty lulz-worthy. There were several lulz crammed into one conversation. It was priceless. How it more or less went, almost verbatim:

Mom: Owen looks much better with his hair cut. He looks less Filipino and more Chinese.
Me: Oh that's good, because we make fun of him a lot for looking Filipino. Or Mexican. Or Native American.
Mom: Oh yeah. That too! Is he still dating that girl?
Me: May?
Mom: Yeah, the one that was supposed to pick up that stuff from you.
Dad: No, they broke up ages ago (I was surprised he actually remembered this. I couldn't even remember ever telling him)
Me: Oh, that reminds me. Christine got engaged.
Mom: To who?
Me: You don't know him.
Mom: Who's the other person getting married again?
Me: Lenny.
Mom: Oh right. And when is my son going to bring home a girl?
Me: When I find one.
Mom: When you find one? When do you ever even go look for one?
Me: You didn't go out and look for Dad. You were introduced to him from his sister.
Mom: No, it was my sister that introduced us. And when I met him, I had to put in a ton of effort to woo him! If I hadn't chased after him, he'd still be dating white girls!
Me: (Realizing that she missed my point completely, I just decided to start trolling) Oh, by the way, I told all my friends about you, Dad. About how you dated white girls. They think you're awesome.
Dad: (Smiling) I had two white girlfriends!
Mom: Yeah, but they were ugly.
Dad: Were not! One of them was French Canadian!
Mom: She was fat.
Dad: Fat my ass! She was so pretty.
Mom: She was homely.
Dad: I have pictures of her still!
Me: (Whispering to my dad) Show me later.

So there you have it. Both my dad and I both had/have a crush on French Canadian girls. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

What's new

My memory's really starting to go. I'm one of the few keyholders at my workplace, which probably isn't a good thing, because I find it increasingly difficult to remember if I locked the doors at night. I've already forgotten twice already to lock the doors; I've been warned that if I forget one more time, I'm fired. The other night, I couldn't even remember 2 minutes after I left if I locked the doors. It's one thing if I tried hard to remember and it slowly came back to me, but for me, it's like amnesia. I just draw a blank. I can't tell you how many times I've been so paranoid about it that I've walked back from the subway station to work just to double check.

Ever wake up from a dream that was so convincing that when you woke up, you actually questioned whether or not it happened in real life? This morning, I woke up convinced that I had killed two people, disposed of their bodies in some gruesome fashion and that I had blocked those memories out of my mind. Who knows? With my shoddy memory, maybe I have.

I was gonna write about how awful work's been this week, but instead, I'll focus on the positive aspect of it. Work now is almost exactly like how work was a year ago; I still bust my ass 6 days a week at my job, only I know what I'm doing and I'm a lot better at my job than I was a year ago. Working that often really makes me appreciate the one day I have off and as much as I want to veg out at home and do nothing, I force myself to go out and make the most of my free time. So I'm happy to say the past two Thursdays have been great. It'd be nice if I could get one more day off, but I guess this will suffice. It's too bad school starts again next week, which will throw off my schedule once more, but I'm hoping I'll find the motivation to go out and do something the way I've been doing the past two weeks. Here's hoping.

Report cards

Being a pack rat saved me a ton of trouble today. Who knew annoying habits could one day prove useful?
I needed a transcript and a course syllabus for a course I took at York, in order to get deferred standing on one of the courses I need to graduate. I had both at one point, but I had a feeling I threw out the syllabus, as it was completely useless and it seems like something I'd throw out. I was pretty bummed about it, considering I couldn't remember the course code, or the professor's name, so even if I did need to request a copy of the syllabus from York, I wouldn't know where to begin. I gave up hope on it, only to discover it when I was trying to look for a copy of my university transcript. I was overjoyed.
The problem is now I can't find my transcript. Life's a bitch like that.

While attempting to look for my transcript, though, I came across some old report cards. Here's an excerpt from my kindergarten report card:

New experiences are not the threat to him that they were earlier in the year. Sometimes Darren's mind does not seem to be on what he is doing and he can be quite forgetful when it comes to tidying up and taking things home.

My Grade 2 teacher wrote:

Attempts at establishing good, consistent work habits have proven inconsistent...Darren continues to have difficulties attending to the task at hand...I would like to see Darren develop more self pride in his work...Darren is a capable student who does not always work to his full potential because he spends too much time socializing with his peers.

My favorite, though, is my grade 1 report card:

Darren has displayed a keen interest in drawing ninja turtles this term. His pictures have been very detailed.

Sounds like I was more awesome as a kid than I am now.

Fuck what you heard; it's what you're hearing

I was going to write about how school's over and my thoughts on that, but I realized I don't really have any thoughts on it. Sergio requested I post this for everyone to hear, so that should be more interesting.

The Hood Internet - The XX Gon' Give It To Ya (DMX x The XX)byhoodinternet

And this is my contribution for a song.

I call them April Babies because they fools.

For the past two Sundays, as I'm walking to work, this rather chunky and disheveled looking guy in sunglasses has come up to me with well wishes. I think the first time, he said "Have a good year man!" and continued to walk. This past Sunday, he said "Have a good day, man!". I said "Thanks, you too!". I can't tell if he's secretly taking the piss or if he's slightly wacked out or maybe he's just a happy guy in general. I wonder if I'll see him this Sunday. Maybe I'll beat him to the punch and wish him a good day.

One of my classmates showed up to the exam today and for some reason, announced that he was going to "sit next to my good friend Darren". He has it in his head that I know my shit for some reason and I guess he wanted to cheat off me. Thankfully, he revealed that he wasn't going to cheat off me, but he was just going to sneak his notes in with his exam paper and use that to cheat (so I still have no idea why he wanted to sit right next to me, because I'm sure as hell not his "good friend"). It hardly comes as a surprise that he ended up getting caught halfway through the exam. What kills me is that he didn't get slapped with a zero; all the teacher did was take his paper and tell him "I should be asking you to leave right now". He was allowed to continue writing the exam.
So the moral of the story is: cheat all you fucking want, because apparently the teachers at Seneca are too spineless to enforce anything, let alone a supposed zero tolerance policy.

My dad bought a few bikes a few weeks ago and one night, Sergio and I decided to take them out for a spin around the block. We forgot just how much fun it could be to just go cruising around on a bike. So we decided that we should get our own bikes, since neither of us had one. So we each got a bike yesterday.
We both went riding around for a total of maybe 90 minutes yesterday; I haven't had that much exercise in almost a year. I'm hoping I put it to good use, considering the money I spent on it.
Oh, and the kicker? Sergio and I got identical bikes. No, we did not get matching outfits too and no, we didn't hold hands when we rode together. Also, in other non-gay news, my ass hurts. I was warned that riding lowrider bikes isn't too comfortable since it doesn't leave too much leg room to pedal, but that doesn't even bother me. The part that kills me is that the banana seat my bike comes with has zero cushioning, so I feel. Every. Bump. My conversation with Sergio today went something like:
"How's your ass?"
"It hurts!"
"Mine too"
Like there aren't enough gay jokes about Sergio and I, right?

I thought I heard every good song from the 80's, but I was wrong. No one told me about Chalk Circle.